turkeyBy Larry Marsh, Kansas City Star Midwest Voices columnist 2009

I learned the Army way of cooking a turkey from a former Army cook in the early 1960s. I was just a kitchen boy at a girls camp in the Pocono mountains of Pennsylvania. I asked her how many she cooked for in the Army. She replied: "One hundred - - - every twenty minutes."

She swore all the time, was tough as nails and used her hands as measuring cups. She was often late for work and sometimes smelled like liquor. One day she didn't show up at all. The camp director said: "Don't know if this Marsh kid can cook, but he doesn't swear and he's not down at the town bar every Saturday night selling himself, so we'll give it a shot." That is how I became the camp cook.

Okay, we'll assume you've already chased your birds around the yard, have chopped off their heads, drained their blood, plucked their feathers, removed their organs, and have them ready to cook. Now stoke your oven fire with wood if necessary or coal if available, and open the air intakes. Next you'll need a very large cast iron pot. Cram a couple twenty-pounders tightly into the pot so as to minimize air pockets around your birds. Now pour in only enough water to cover your birds by a few inches.

Place the pot on the stove down at the end near the firebox. Be sure your fire is well-developed with red-hot coals. If out on field maneuvers (no oven), just hang your pot over an open fire. Keep those babies cookin' at a rapid boil until well done with the meat curlin' off the bone. Don't throw out the water. You'll need that for making the gravy, preparing the stuffin' and rehydrating your birds. House your cooked birds in the walk-in frig overnight.

Be up and ready to cook by 5 am the next morning (or 4 am if your troops are special ops). We'll assume that you've already taken care of breakfast. Take a paring knife and carefully deconstruct your birds into large, boneless sections. Slice up each section against the grain in your stainless steel electric slicer. Use a serrated knife if you have no slicer. Take a large pan that's a few inches deep and lay each slice of meat evenly stacked across the pan. Bring the pot with the turkey broth saved from the previous day to a rapid boil. Then pour the broth into the pan to fully cover its contents. Slide the pan into the hot oven for fifteen minutes.

That's it. Your dehydrated, rehydrated birds are now ready to serve.

Welcome to the Army!

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