By Emily Allen, 2009 Midwest Voices contributor

Remember the Enjoli perfume commercial from the early 1970s?

A hot woman in business attire comes home with a wad of money, swings her hips and begins singing. She changes into a mom cooking and then into a siren in sexy lingerie. The jingle still runs through my head sometimes. “I can bring home the bacon/ Fry it up in a pan/ And never, ever let you forget you’re a man.”

Those were the days when the notion that we could have it all without losing our minds or collapsing from exhaustion prevailed. Enjoli got away with that because, traditionally, women were expected to be the ones responsible for the largest chunk of caring for the home and the children.

Even if there were two working parents, most American women were cleaning more, cooking more and spending more time with their kids than their husbands or partners were. Significantly more.

I won’t be the one to dispute that women can juggle with skill. We can, but doing it alone is overrated.

If we’re raising a family, children do better with an engaged, well-adjusted father around. Families need men and they need men’s contributions to the family. Increasingly, men are becoming more involved.

A recent report by the Families and Work Institute shows that the at-home work gap is narrowing between men and women. Fathers are spending more time with their children and young teens than ever before.

“Times Are Changing: Gender and Generation At Work and At Home” reports that men are taking more overall responsibility for the care of their children than they did in 1992, with their involvement up nearly 10 percent. They are not only providing one-on-one care but also taking more initiative to arrange child care and help in the home. Women in the study agree.

It’s not equal between the sexes yet, but the amount of time men are devoting to hearth and home is catching up to their female partners. No longer are men expecting women to be the sole caretakers and homemakers.

If that’s good news for women, it’s even better news for children. Studies show that a father’s involvement in the home and with the children has positive effects on a child’s cognitive development, academic achievement and self-perception as well as decreasing behavioral problems and risky behaviors.

Having strong male role models is essential for children, from babies to young adults. Besides that, hanging out with your dad is fun.
My dad had a knack for making work enjoyable. I grew up watching him cook, or at least rustle up breakfast, every day.

He helped with the family’s laundry, and when he deemed me old enough to do my own he taught me how to run the washer and dryer.

He also showed me how to vacuum and to scrub a toilet and never yelled if I didn’t get it right. My grandfather and my uncle taught me everything from picking the perfect ear of corn to mushroom hunting in the Colorado mountains. Strong men in my life are still influencing me today.

Father’s Day, June 21, is traditionally a day to say “thanks” to our dads or to the men in our life who act as that male role model. It’s also a good time for fathers to remember how necessary they are to the fabric of the family.
In an age in which male-bashing is common in commercials, TV sitcoms and on bar stools across the nation, modeling leadership, strength and kindness to your children will help future generations reject society’s negative connotations of men.

As for cooking, the study shows that women are still doing most of it. Father’s Day might be a good time to change that statistic. Put down your iPhone, fire up the grill and cook a few hamburgers. Then after dinner grab the Frisbee and invite your kids to play. Your son or daughter will thank you for it.

Emily Allen is a communications specialist, editor and freelance writer. She lives in Kearney. To reach Midwest Voices columnists, write to the author c/o the Editorial Page, The Kansas City Star, 1729 Grand Blvd., Kansas City, MO 64108, or send e-mail to .