Why married men should be concerned about abortion rights
Gentlemen, how would you like to be responsible for raising the child of the man who raped your wife.
Though the presidential election is over, disagreement about abortion rights is not. And make no mistake, opponents of abortion are determined. They convinced the Republican Party to make the party’s platform exclude any exceptions that would permit abortion, and the Susan B. Anthony political action committee says it will continue promoting this position.
Though they probably aren’t positioned to achieve their goals, there are several members of Congress who strongly support a complete ban on abortion. Paul Ryan, for example, was reelected to Congress, and he stated his position on abortion before accepting his vice-presidential nomination. Rape, he reasoned, is a method of conception, but the fertilized egg is still a human life and should not be aborted.
Ryan’s view is intellectually honest, especially in comparison to the political compromise the Romney campaign eventually settled on to allow exceptions for rape, incest and the life of the mother. But as they say, a woman can’t be a little pregnant, and it’s not consistent to be a little pro-life.
If the fertilized egg, the zygote, is human life, there can be no exceptions that allow abortion, and though I disagree with the premise, I respect the sincerity of the view. But let’s consider the practical implications of a complete ban on abortion.
Say you’re a happily married man with a wife and two teenage children. Then your spouse is brutally raped and becomes pregnant, but the rapist isn’t caught. In most states, a husband is presumed to be the father of the baby his wife bears, and he is financially responsible for the child.
If a husband decides to divorce his wife because she has had an affair that produced a child, DNA testing may relieve a husband of financial responsibility. But in case of rape, if the rapist is not identified, would a court allow the financial burden of raising the child to fall on the mother alone? I don’t know whether this issue has been settled, but my guess is that a court would make both man and woman bear the cost of such a child. To do otherwise would punish the child.
In theory at least, a baby conceived by rape could be given up for adoption…if the baby is healthy and readily adoptable. But some women (and some men) would be reluctant to do this, and a woman’s decision to keep the child means her husband would raise the child, too.
Apart from financial considerations, there are intense emotional issues that should be considered. Ideally, a husband should be supportive of his wife if she were raped. But one might expect a man to be angry with the rapist, and the anger probably would be displaced onto his wife, at least at times.
And imagine how difficult it would be for many men to love and not be angry with a child who is the product of rape.
The difficulty fathers face when rape causes a daughter’s pregnancy is also something for men to consider. Suppose that a couple’s 16 year old daughter is the victim of rape and becomes pregnant. The parents would bear the cost of the pregnancy. And giving the baby up for adoption would mean giving away a grandchild, albeit a grandchild resulting from rape.
A decision to give a baby to adoption is always difficult, and especially in case of a pregnancy from rape, a father, mother and 16 year old daughter could have very different and conflicting feelings and opinions that would create turmoil in the family. A married couple would face a daunting task of helping their adolescent cope with the challenges of considering adoption or motherhood.
But suppose that the Republican Party platform became law and did allow exceptions for abortions in case of rape or incest. What tribunal would convene quickly and make a decision in time to permit an abortion within the first trimester of pregnancy. What evidence would suffice to prove that rape had occurred. Would the fetus have to be genetically tested to prove that the paternity could not be attributed to a husband or boyfriend of the daughter? What man do you know who wouldn’t be distraught over the trauma of such proceedings.
We may think we know, but we can’t know for sure what we would do when faced with such a crisis. Opponents of capital punishment may see things differently if a loved one is murdered. A nation decides that torture is permissible when faced with an enemy who follows no rules. Pragmatism often trumps principle.
It is difficult in multiple respects to be purely logical regarding abortion. Women whose political philosophy is pro-choice often find it unexpectedly difficult to terminate a pregnancy. Some pro-choice women who have abortions later come to regret the decision.
But I ask you, husbands and fathers who would legislate an end to all abortion exceptions, would you want a prosecution for murder of your wife or daughter for her decision to obtain an abortion? Are you sure you would truly be able, without anger or prejudice, to love a baby conceived by a rape of your wife or daughter?
These questions are neither idle nor trivial. An article in the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology in 1996 estimated that there were 32,101 pregnancies annually because of rape. Everyone of these women is somebody’s daughter. Many are men’s wives.
End note: I am fully aware that I have not discussed the terrible impact of rape on women and, in general, women’s voices should be predominant in political discussions about rape and abortion. But men are also deeply affected by these issues, and I simply chose here to focus on a male’s perspective.
Steve Alleman
Kansas City
5 months, 3 weeks ago“If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament” ~ Florynce Kennedy
JR Beillenhouser
5 months, 3 weeks agoYou spend paragraphs on what you assume to be logical thinking regarding your position, but only a few sentences on the child.
One question. If the zygote is not human life, what is it? It has a unique set of DNA code. Within the period of time in which a common abortion would occur, an ultrasound of it shows how formed it is in such a short time. I know of no human that has ever given birth to a goat, or a dog or a clump of cells. Of course it is human, but in a early form. To try to say otherwise is just intellectually dishonest, and frankly, that is the problem with the pro-choice people. In order to rationalize your position, you are forced to suspend logic.
If you are one who accepts that the zygote is human life, none of the calesthenics you just wrote about, make a difference.
Now the reality:
In the 8 years Bush was president, the votes on the Supreme Court were there to overturn Row Vs Wade. Why did it not occur in that time?
If Roe vs Wade was overturned tomorrow, abortions would not end in this country. It would simply be passed to the states to decide, and most would still allow some form of it.
There is no legislation that is pending in Congress or that is ready to be introduced that ends Birth Control or Abortion.
Face it, you’ve been played. You voted for something that was a non issue. Oh, how about Gay marriage. Well you were played on that one too. Obama has stated that he will not try to get federal legislation for it but instead will leave it for each state to decide.
So why is it ok for States rights in Gay Marriage, but not in Abortion? Why the inconsistency? Simply because it is politically expedient?
You’ve been played.
Ray Parker
Overland Park
5 months, 3 weeks agoAbortion never solves anything, only causes more terrible and long-lasting medical and psychological problems. Abolition now.
Phil Cardarella
5 months, 3 weeks agoNo one has been played. It is the extreme position of the Ryan/Akins Party that takes the position that a zygote has greater rights than the woman around it.
Here’s a revolutionary thought: Women are people, and we should respect their decisions regarding their own bodies, instead of trying to make them criminal.
And men should support that right for women because we love and respect them. And, we underatand that women are full, functional human beings entitled to the same respect and rights as men.
Don’t like abortion? Don’t have one. Support intelligent sex ed and easily available contraceptives — so there will be less call for a woman considering abortion. Work to offer good alternatives for adopting or caring for a child that is born.
If you believe you are right, argue your case. But, do not presume to use the law and prisons to support yur argument.
No woman has an abortion lightly. But, it is a personal decision that no legislator, no priest, no policeman should have the power to deny her.