Time to delve in 2012 with whimsy, wit and smirk
The Kansas City Star
It seems all year we counted down what Mayans had foreboded;
But when the Twenty-Second dawned, the prophecy imploded.
(So much for doom.) But Twenty-Twelve was not a year for snoring;
Describe it in what terms you like, ’twas rarely counted boring.
It’s largely now forgotten, but for half the year, they say,
Our city prepped and primed itself for party at The K.
The local league, however, found it tough to score a run
(And maybe if more boys in blue had played, we would’ve won.)
The All-Star Game drew many guests, a baseball-loving swarm
Who praised our hospitality — but heck, that’s just our norm!
Election year was lively, thus producing quite a flood
(We may just spend the next four years still wiping off the mud.)
Such sound and fury! Bound to worry! In our ears it stings…
It’s not the kids, but candidates, who say the darndest things.
The DMV in Kansas had a year that turned infernal —
Installing new computers that now made the wait eternal.
So those who came to license cars soon learned a woeful skill…
Some folks who got in line in May, they’re likely waiting still.
The fortunate — the Fiberhood — connected up (a start)
To hear ’em speak of blazing speed, it makes ’em seem so smart…
They’re light-years, really, far ahead; the rest of us are sittin’
(In fact, they’re likely reading this before it’s even written.)
In weather we had sprinklers flow because the drought neglected
And on the year we got just barely half the rain expected;
Which scotched all hopes for autumn show of color, tint and hue —
But curious — when autumn came, the colors came out, too.
A bumper crop of acorns fell from pinoaks straight and tall:
And shrubs and trees surprised us as they bloomed again in fall.
A wonderland of building blocks has opened up for kids;
And though adults had sought to play, the youngsters (seems) had dibs.
Oh, stop those pouty faces, you adults, a sullen sight!
The grown-ups get a block of time to play with blocks…at night.
A half a billion dollars was the Powerball’s big prize;
It’s always won in distant states — but this time, a surprise:
’Cause purchase in the Northland proved the locals sure could win some…
A couple bucks for ticket earned a tidy sum, and then some.
The Royals are a thoughtful team, considerate of fans
So given how the way they play, just try to understand:
They’re sparing us from hassles we endured in days of old
Of sitting in a ballpark in the late October cold.
(But ah! When no one’s looking on a chill December day
A trade brings us excitement with some pitchers sent our way.)
A donkey pal of Grandview fame, no longer being seen:
Ascending to a pasture where the grass is always green.
We’ll miss ol’ Ebenezer, ’cause we haven’t seen him since;
Yes, who will eat the apples that we bring out to the fence?
Now, look ahead — another year is barely days away;
This wacky year of Twenty-Twelve, you knew it wouldn’t stay.
Tradition holds that Thirteen is a number oft unlucky
But as a year, we’re placing odds it’s apt to turn out ducky.
So Kansas City, listen up — we’re making one request:
You seize the day and seize the year and make it all the best.
In a holiday tradition on the editorial page, this retrospective romp in verse was cooked up by The Star’s resident versifier, Don Munday, and heartily endorsed by the editorial board.