The new GOP Diet
The Kansas City Star
I don’t know about you, but I am not happy about my weight. It seems like there just are not enough hours in the day to cook the healthy balanced meals for my family that I want. Not to mention, the cost of fresh fruit and vegetables just keeps going up.
Like most Americans, I often rely on fast food or convenience chain-restaurants to feed my family. What’s the result? Ever increasing clothing sizes, less energy and sluggish health.
Now it’s time for a change.
That’s why I’m putting my family on the new diet – The GOP Diet!
The G.O.P. Diet stands for Get Off (the) Pounds.
It’s the latest thing to come out of Washington. It’s so easy to follow. Just follow the conservative outrage. Just a few easy steps and you will find the pounds simply melting away.
Step one watch the news. Yes, that’s right. Sit yourself down in front of the TV or computer and just watch the headlines. It seems that every day a CEO of a major restaurant chain is coming out with an outrageous statement regarding Obamacare or some “liberal agenda” ruining their business.
Take for example the CEO of Papa John’s pizza chain. He is threatening to lay off employees instead of cover their health insurance when Obamacare kicks in.
From now on, I will not eat any more Papa John’s pizza. Think of all the calories I’ll save and all the pounds I’ll lose!
It’s that easy. No tricky diets to follow or complicated meal plans. Papa John’s CEO lives in his mega mansion, but refuses to cover health care for his employees and I save hundreds of calories by not eating his pizza.
Zane Tankel, owner of over 40 franchise Applebee’s also has said he won’t hire additional workers, because of Obamacare. http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2012/11/applebees-ceo-zane-tankel-says-he-wont-hire-because-of-obamacare-video/
Hey Zane, here is a win-win. Calm down Zane (love the name BTW), because I’m not eating at your establishment anymore. The win in all this, is I’ll end up looking fabulous by not doing so! We all know your menu is calorie heavy, the stuff I end up ordering anyway – wings, spin dip and mozz sticks. No more for me! It’s so simple people.
Join me and we will all end up dropping our BMI’s in the process and alleviating our overburdened healthcare system with weight-related healthcare issues in the process caused from the food these establishments serve.
Chick-fil-A – don’t like gay marriage? It’s on the GOP diet plan. No more Chick-fil-A for me!
The only exercise required on the GOP diet plan is the occasional protest outside of a Chick-fil-A for marriage equality.
The complete diet plan is ever changing. It will never get boring since it is guaranteed that more more greedy CEOs will come out claiming their “bottom-line” will be severely cut into by Obamacare. Plan on their messages coming from their multi-million dollar mansions as they Skype from their private putting greens.
The plan is so simple – follow the conservative outrage and the pounds simply melt away!
I’ll update the new diet as we hear more. In the meantime, to follow the GOP diet, remember, no Papa John’s pizza, no Applebee’s from Zane’s franchises and no Chick-fil-A if you disagree with these outrageous statements.
Here’s to a skinnier Democratic Party!