Overcoming us vs. them in America
If we only listen to and value the opinions of people who believe what we do and vilify the rest, we are complicit in the degradation of civil discourse.
If we only listen to and value the opinions of people who believe what we do and vilify the rest, we are complicit in the degradation of civil discourse.
Everyone is prejudiced, including me. I think less of people who perpetuate hate.
I think I’m better than people who are devoid of empathy. I’d love to banish every grown-up bully to an island where they could live out the rest of their insecure lives picking on each other. Oh, and I can’t quite bring myself to trust anyone who professes to dislike nature, animals or cheese.
I’m a patriot. I love my country and I believe in its founding principles. A journalism degree and over a decade of nonpartisan, issue-based advocacy experience has taught me to cross-reference everything and expect change to take time.
I am baffled by people who resist comprehensive information, believing that they can listen to only half of a conversation and know the whole story or think that progress can only come of a fight — an approach that requires the identification and defeat of an “enemy” — be it literal or figurative.
It’s easy to write off Fred Phelps and his posse, members of the Ku Klux Klan and other shocking extremists as couriers of hate. More damaging and insidious are the increasingly common cloaked (and not-so-cloaked) calls for violence and discrimination from public figures that go without real remonstration.
To break through this trending and futile us-vs.-them mentality, we must remember the golden rule. In the words of Martin Luther King Jr.:
“Whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly. I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality.”
Even a choice to stay silent and uninformed is a manner of participation. We cannot help but filter information and react to change what directly affects us. Everyone has influences of origin and circumstance. Everyone has gaps in his or her understanding and experience worth sharing.
Finding one’s unencumbered, authentic voice and using it is perhaps the most difficult thing a person can do aside from tempering that voice with tolerance and approaching life with an open mind. I can say from experience that breaking the seal of relative anonymity requisite to speaking up can be daunting but I promise it’s worth it.
I challenge those of you reading this to do just that, keeping in mind a few things:
No one is an expert on everything. If someone pretends he is, don’t trust him.
You are an expert on something. Everyone has at least one major problem they need to solve, hardship they’d like to overcome or pet issue. Identify yours, boil the issue down into a few talking points and share. Be kind, fair and accurate.
We earn our right to gripe. If we don’t assume our citizen responsibility and become part of the process, we can’t expect our needs to be considered by those we elect to represent us.
We vote at the polls, sure, but our daily choices are important, too. There is much more power in living by one’s principles than in denouncing others for theirs.
It is irresponsible for any group to claim a monopoly on moral responsibility, family values and patriotism. Still, there must be social consequences for hate speech and violent messaging (yes, even in imprecatory prayers, Kansas House Speaker Mike O’Neal), especially for persons in the public eye.
We cannot teach children that there is no difference between attacking someone for who they are and what they believe. It should always be open season for ideas but never open season on people.
Brooke Tourtellot of Kansas City works as a freelance writer and consultant. Reach her by email at oped@kcstar.com or write to Midwest Voices, c/o Editorial Page, The Kansas City Star, 1729 Grand Blvd., Kansas City, MO 64108.
Glen Enloe
1 year agoSpoken like a true moderate (code word for liberal) who refuses to take a stand on anything. You & your ilk are what’s wrong with this country. Please buck up & stand for something — right or wrong.