America's Greatest Family Tree Is Found in Bushes
The greatest family in the history of the United States of America?
Just one of those things it would be nice to know. It will be easy to figure out. All we need is a formula. I happen to have one. I used it years ago to predict the winner of the Big Eight football conference back when I was in a newspaper sports department. After it worked, I called it the Friskel Football Formula (FFF). It uses a point system for each team:
Ten points for any Heisman trophy winner returning, five points for each all-American, four for all-conference, three for second team, two for honorable mention and one point for each starter back. The previous year’s champion gets a bonus eight points (If an eight-team conference), second place team gets seven, and so on. It’s sure-fire.
I’ve converted the old football formula, updated it, fine-tuned it, and renamed it the Friskel Family Formula (FFF). This is how it converts to finding greatness in American families:
Ten points for each president in the family, four points for each vice president, three for each governor, two for senator and one for U.S. representative.
Then all we have to do is go to the internet and look up the logical families. It’s logical that if your family, or mine, doesn’t include at least one president, it will not be the greatest. I’m sorry. Add up the points and we have the winning family, based on mathematics and objectivity, not sentiment or politics. In the process, involving millions of American families and executed in propria persona, the following five families emerged:
No. 5: The Kennedy family: 23 points: Jack Kennedy, president,10; senator, 2; U.S. house representative,1, total 13; Arnold Schwarzenegger, governor, 3; Robert Kennedy, senator, 2; Ted Kennedy, senator, 2; John F. Fitzgerald, the house, 1; Joe Kennedy Jr., house 1; Patrick Kennedy, house, 1.
No. 4: The Roosevelt family, 34 points: Theodore, president, 10; vice president, 4; governor, 3; total 17; Franklin, president, governor, 13; James I. Roosevelt, James, Robert and FDR Jr., all in the house, 4. Theodore and Franklin were fifth cousins. Franklin was married to Eleanor Roosevelt, also his fifth cousin.
No. 3: The Harrison family: 35 points. William Henry Harrison, president, 10, senator, 2, house, 1, 13; his grandson Benjamin Harrison, president, senator, 12; Benjamin Harrison, died 1791, governor, 3; William’s grandfather Alvin Saunders, senator, 2; John Scott Harrison, Carter B., Carter, John, Russell Harrison, house, 5.
No 2: The Adams family, 36 points: John Adams: president, vice president, 14 points; his son John Quincy Adams, president, governor, senator, 15; Sam Adams, governor, house, 4; Charles Adams, Joseph Allen, Charles Allen, house, 3.
No. 1: The Bush family: 48 points: Franklin Pierce, president, governor, 13; David Davis, senator, a Walker cousin and Lincoln’s 1860 campaign manager, 2; Prescott Bush, senator, 2; George Herbert Walker Bush, president, vice president, house, 15; George W. Bush, president, governor, 13, Jeb Bush, governor, 3.
Also, according to internet sources, four Mayflower passengers were Bush relatives, as was Pocahontas, and 15 presidents were listed as Bush relatives, including Barack Obama, an 11th cousin of George W. Bush. But an FFF ruling decided against awarding the Bushes points for Obama or most of the other presidents listed. President Pierce is a qualifying relative, a fifth cousin of Barbara Pierce Bush and a seventh cousin of Barbara’s husband, George H.W. Bush.
I told you it would be easy. And congratulations to the Bush family. Some members of the family have been located in Dallas, Texas. They will be sent a score sheet and a picture of the symbolic American bald eagle, suitable for framing, and inscribed: “Bushes: Greatest American Family.”
The greatest family in the history of the United States of America?
Just one of those things it would be nice to know. It will be easy to figure out. All we need is a formula. I happen to have one. I used it years ago to predict the winner of the Big Eight football conference back when I was in a newspaper sports department. After it worked, I called it the Friskel Football Formula (FFF). It uses a point system for each team:
Ten points for any Heisman trophy winner returning, five points for each all-American, four for all-conference, three for second team, two for honorable mention and one point for each starter back. The previous year’s champion gets a bonus eight points, (If an eight-team conference), second place team gets seven, and so on. It’s sure-fire.
I’ve converted the old football formula, updated it, fine-tuned it, and renamed it the Friskel Family Formula (FFF). This is how it converts to finding greatness in American families:
Ten points for each president in the family, four points for each vice president, three for each governor, two for senator and one for U.S. representative.
Then all we have to do is go to the internet and look up the logical families. It’s logical that if your family, or mine, doesn’t include at least one president, it will not be the greatest. I’m sorry. Add up the points and we have the winning family, based on mathematics and objectivity, not sentiment or politics. In the process, involving millions of American families and executed in propria persona, the following five families emerged:
No. 5: The Kennedy family: 23 points: Jack Kennedy, president,10; senator, 2; U.S. house representative,1, total 13; Arnold Schwarzenegger, governor, 3; Robert Kennedy, senator, 2; Ted Kennedy, senator, 2; John F. Fitzgerald, the house, 1; Joe Kennedy Jr., house 1; Patrick Kennedy, house, 1.
No. 4: The Roosevelt family, 34 points: Theodore, president, 10; vice president, 4; governor, 3; total 17; Franklin, president, governor, 13; James I. Roosevelt, James, Robert and FDR Jr., all in the house, 4. Theodore and Franklin were fifth cousins. Franklin was married to Eleanor Roosevelt, also his fifth cousin.
No. 3: The Harrison family: 35 points. William Henry Harrison, president, 10, senator, 2, house, 1, 13; his grandson Benjamin Harrison, president, senator, 12; Benjamin Harrison, died 1791, governor, 3; William’s grandfather Alvin Saunders, senator, 2; John Scott Harrison, Carter B., Carter, John, Russell Harrison, house, 5.
No 2: The Adams family, 36 points: John Adams: president, vice president, 14 points; his son John Quincy Adams, president, governor, senator, 15; Sam Adams, governor, house, 4; Charles Adams, Joseph Allen, Charles Allen, house, 3.
No. 1: The Bush family: 48 points: Franklin Pierce, president, governor, 13; David Davis, senator, a Walker cousin and Lincoln’s 1860 campaign manager, 2; Prescott Bush, senator, 2; George Herbert Walker Bush, president, vice president, house, 15; George W. Bush, president, governor, 13, Jeb Bush, governor, 3.
Also, according to internet sources, four Mayflower passengers were Bush relatives, as was Pocahontas, and 15 presidents were listed as Bush relatives, including Barack Obama, an 11th cousin of George W. Bush. But an FFF ruling decided against awarding the Bushes points for Obama or most of the other presidents listed. President Pierce is a qualifying relative, a fifth cousin of Barbara Pierce Bush and a seventh cousin of Barbara’s husband, George H.W. Bush.
I told you it would be easy. And congratulations to the Bush family. Some members of the family have been located in Dallas, Texas. They will be sent a score sheet and a picture of the symbolic American bald eagle, suitable for framing, and inscribed: “Bushes: Greatest American Family.”
George Hunsucker
Northland
1 year agoah, how much is a community organizer worth and a wife taking numerous vacations after having worked sooooooooooooooooooooooo hard as a community “something” for over $300K per year, a job the hospital abolished after ms. obama left the position? This MUST be worth 80 or 90 points Bob; these are such important “jobs”…..
Albert Moore
1 year agoBe nice as possible.
Without blinking honest and candid analysis.
How about the most unknown family tree?
A candidate for first place would be that of Barack Hussein Obama II.
Neither of Barry’s claimed birth parents was his. They adopted him at his birth in Hawai’i.
Barack Hussein Obama the black Luo tribesman was ruled out as Barry’s birth father by Dr. Chiyome Leinaala Fukino’s 27 July 2009 press release finding that Barry was a natural born American citizen. The Luo tribesman was an alien. Comparison of Barry’s Y-DNA with that of close male relatives of the Luo show to a reasonable degree of scientific certitude that it’s biologically impossible for the Luo to be Barry’s birth father.
Barry’s real family tree might actually be more interesting than the phony one that he claims. His father was probably Stanley Armour Dunham, whose heart’s desire was to have a son, which his wife Madelyn Lee Payne Dunham could not give him. Stanley Armour’s ancestral line might cross that of Franklin Marshall Davis, Barry’s communist mentor. Researching those lines might reveal a wonderful American story from the days of the Missouri-Kansas border wars.
Barry’s mother was probably an obliging native Hawai’ian wahine, from whom Barry inherits his warm mahogany complexion. For all we know, Barry’s birth mother could still be alive. She could be a descendant of Liliuokalani, the last Queen of Hawai’i. Google “Liliuokalani” for images, photographs probably darker than she really was, and (LOL) an “idealized” oil portrait showing skin much lighter than it really was.
Imagine, 100,000 years or so ago, Barry’s progenitors left African. Some migrated westerly, mixing Neanderthal DNA with theirs. Others went easterly, mixing Denisovan DNA with theirs, the two lines merging in a paradise in the middle of the vast Pacific Ocean. Not exactly close breeding. Produced a smart baby. Niceness constrains me from characterizing him as evil.
Barry’s original birth certificate would also verify that Barry was born of two U.S. citizens, putting to rest the concern that he was not a natural born American citizen on the day of his birth.
Unfortunately, in 1981 Barry voluntarily relinquished his U.S. citizenship in favor of naturalization as a citizen of Indonesia, in order to evade Selective Service registration, support his applications for school and financial aid, gain an additional passport for international travel without disclosure on his U.S. passport, and possibly other reasons, such as indulging a deep and abiding hatred and rejection of the United States and its Constitution. In 2008, he filed a back-dated registration.
Barry’s loss of American citizenship rendered him ineligible to the Office of President. He can’t be a natural born American citizen if he’s no longer a U.S. citizen at all, even though he was a natural born U.S. citizen on the day of his birth.
Albert Moore
1 year agoBe nice as possible.
Without blinking honest and candid analysis.
How about the most unknown family tree?
A candidate for first place would be that of Barack Hussein Obama II.
Neither of Barry’s claimed birth parents was his. They adopted him at his birth in Hawai’i.
Barack Hussein Obama the black Luo tribesman was ruled out as Barry’s birth father by Dr. Chiyome Leinaala Fukino’s 27 July 2009 press release finding that Barry was a natural born American citizen. The Luo tribesman was an alien. Comparison of Barry’s Y-DNA with that of close male relatives of the Luo shows to a reasonable degree of scientific certitude that it’s biologically impossible for the Luo to be Barry’s birth father.
Barry’s real family tree might actually be more interesting than the phony one that he claims. His father was probably Stanley Armour Dunham, whose heart’s desire was to have a son, which his wife Madelyn Lee Payne Dunham could not give him. Stanley Armour’s ancestral line might cross that of Franklin Marshall Davis, Barry’s communist mentor. Researching those lines might reveal a wonderful American story from the days of the Missouri-Kansas border wars.
Barry’s mother was probably an obliging native Hawai’ian wahine, from whom Barry inherits his warm mahogany complexion. For all we know, Barry’s birth mother could still be alive. She could be a descendant of Liliuokalani, the last Queen of Hawai’i. Google “Liliuokalani” for images, photographs probably darker than she really was, and (LOL) an “idealized” oil portrait showing skin much lighter than it really was.
Imagine, 100,000 years or so ago, Barry’s progenitors left African. Some migrated westerly, mixing Neanderthal DNA with theirs. Others went easterly, mixing Denisovan DNA with theirs, the two lines merging in a paradise in the middle of the vast Pacific Ocean. Not exactly close breeding. Produced a smart baby. Niceness constrains me from characterizing him as evil.
Barry’s original birth certificate would also verify that Barry was born of two U.S. citizens, putting to rest the concern that he was not a natural born American citizen on the day of his birth.
Unfortunately, in 1981 Barry voluntarily relinquished his U.S. citizenship in favor of naturalization as a citizen of Indonesia, in order to evade Selective Service registration, support his applications for school and financial aid, gain an additional passport for international travel without disclosure on his U.S. passport, and possibly other reasons, such as indulging a deep and abiding hatred and rejection of the United States and its Constitution. In 2008, he filed a back-dated registration.
Barry’s loss of American citizenship rendered him ineligible to the Office of President. He can’t be a natural born American citizen if he’s no longer a U.S. citizen at all, even though he was a natural born U.S. citizen on the day of his birth.
Albert Moore
1 year agoSorry, second comment was posted on different browser. It’s Identical to the first, but for a typographical correction.
Suggest the first be deleted, preserving the second, more grammatical, comment.
Mark Hastert
1 year agoI guess we all know deep down that America has an aristocracy, that some are manor born, that they’re just better by birth than the rest of us, but I hate to see it quantified in black and white.
It’s truly a triumph of our republic that a low born ordinary man like our President could overcome a cast system so heavily weighted against him.
Mark Hastert
1 year agoSheesh, Chuck do you even know what sarcasm is?
Yes we’ve had a few low-borns make it to the top but as you well know it’s getting harder and harder. This is likely the first generation of Americans who will fare worse than their parents. 50% of recent college grads are un or under employed. Too many will have stunted careers and will have to delay their first homes and starting families.
I know well the political tactics of social division, I remember Willie Horton too. It’s a sad commentary that we have devolved to this point but we have. We’ve been force fed 30 years of trickle down nonsense, voo doo economics supported by magic math. We’re diverted with non-issues and culture wars. Both parties and politicians of all stripes are guilty but few have matched the expertise of the Karl Roves or Switboaters. So please, spare us the sanctimony.
Take a good look at what the crack pot above has written, where does that kind of disinformation come from?
As I wrote in my first post America does have an aristocracy and the gap between high-borns and low-borns is widening. IMO conservative policies are responsible for much of it.
Kent Mueller
1 year agoMark, I don’t know Albert, but I think you referenced him as a crack pot. Sorry, if I’m wrong. But if I’m not wrong, then Shesh, Mark do you even know what sarcasm is?
George Hunsucker
Northland
1 year agoEvery time mark is caught in a bunch of nonsense, we are asked “do you even know what sarcasm is”. Yes we do… Do you even know what BS is mark?
Steven Fetter
66223
1 year agoI am not sure what quantifies a “High-Born” or “Low Born” person. I do know that for much of our US history, extremely wealthy people have represented us in Congress and as Presidents. Of our 1st 10 presidents, only Jackson and Van Buren were of modest means. The others were in the top1% of the top 1%.
If anything, as Chuck noted, there seems to be a trend toward people from modest means being elected President. Of our last 10 Presidents, only 3 (Bush, Bush, and Kennedy) were born into wealth.
The Roves, Axelrods, Carvilles and whoever produced the nuclear bomb/daisy commercial against Goldwater have been around forever. The only thing new today is that the current recovery is the slowest ever coming out of of recession.
Perhaps 2012 will finally be the “summer of recovery” promised after passing the Trillion dollar stimulus and Affordable Health Care bill.
Mark Hastert
1 year ago“I don’t know Albert, but I think you referenced him as a crack pot.” Read more here: http://voices.kansascity.com/entries/americas-greatest-family-tree-is-found-in-bushes/#storylink=cpy
I hope you’re right Kent but the posts sound like they came from somebody with a tin foil hat. They’re certainly only slightly more over the top than the other Birther ideas. And yes George, I know what BS is. I read your posts don’t I?
Seriously, my point is that opportunity in America is shrinking and increasingly harder to come by. Notice I’m saying opportunity, not any freebees. I heard an author interviewed today that posits that the real culture war is the one waged against the young. The cost of education is skyrocketing, they graduate from college or trade school with huge amounts of debt, no job prospect and that delays their starting families, buying homes and building any wealth of their own. They’re going to be asked for more and more sacrifice so that their grandparents can live in relative comfort and extend their lives for a short time at a huge cost. They are beginning to get wise to this and they will rebel at the polls, in the streets.
Kent Mueller
1 year agoMark, a big part of the solution is entitlement reform. The Republicans have fired their first volleys. The Democrats haven’t responded. As you know, the entitlements, which mostly go to older Americans, is eating our federal budget alive.
George Hunsucker
Northland
1 year agoRyan has proposed a plan that would work, the libs only want LARGER govt.!